Modern Ancient Greece

If the Greek gods had jobs today….

Hermes hears the all-too-familiar ‘ding’. Another person has “liked” a comment on the wall. Maybe there’s even a bit of animosity in a comment left behind too. It warms his heart just knowing that these mortal’s superficial interactions keep him busy. Nothing like their preoccupation with everyone else’s business to keep him running to and fro. Messages may not be what they once were, but he’s satisfied. 

Aphrodite sits patiently as the Botox plumps her aging skin. Really, centuries will do that to a girl. Wonderful that these modern mortals are so infatuated with themselves and their outward appearance. Those Kardashians have done wonders in bringing her name to the lips of humans once again. Beauty and outward appearance are all the rage with these mortals. Not to mention, ‘love’. She’s had to pass that off entirely to Hera. Let beauty remain her specialty!

A girl can hardly take a break what with the divorce rate these days; people falling in and out of love before Helios can bridle up his horses. Hera’s hectic schedule leaves her hardly any time at Mount Olympus. (It’s no wonder her own husband suffers from a ill temper.) Really, these mortal women hardly need her help at all finding a new partner. And as far as needing husbands to help ‘pop out’ children… la! Who needs them anyway? Really, if she weren’t tickled to be so busy, she might be distressed about the situation. Even the Greeks weren’t that liberal with their… um, favors. But as it’s her job, she can be prevailed upon to assist!

Poor Athena, though. She sits in the corner day after day, just hoping that someone will call upon her. Anyone? She looks so forlorn. There’s to be a new president. Maybe he (surely it will be a he) will request her services. She’s been bored for nigh on 50 years now. Wisdom is just not in high demand these days. 

And Posiedon, bless him. He keeps sending earthquakes, storms and tsunamis in an effort to remind the mortals that he’s here too. But since Starbucks changed their cups, certain flags have become unpopular, innocent lions have been killed, and footballs magically deflate of their own accord, people just don’t appreciate how much destruction he’s caused and how many of their own lives have been taken. It’s just not the same as the good ol’ days when people had a healthy respect and fear of the gods. 


Though my intent in drawing a parallel is humorous, there is truth behind my words. I am guilty of many of these things which have been mentioned. Too often we forget the eternal situation because we are surrounded by the mortal, earthly one.  The ancient Greeks were overcome by their own ignorance and their pride. Let it not be said the same happened to America.


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